Should a former homosexual tell his/her loved ones and/or potential marriage partner about the past?

I believe that women are God's most precious gift to a man. And I cannot see why any man who intends to spend his life with his selected mate should intentionally begin the relationship based on deception. Homosexual involvement carries a tremendous amount of long term residuals which are certain to surface in marriage.  
Consequently, a woman should be afforded the dignity of choice in the relationship. If based on what you choose to share with her, she feels that she cannot handle the relationship, then that is her choice to make alone.

Former lesbians, while on the receiving of the proposal, still should inform their potential mate. How much and the manner of revelation is entirely up to the individual. Discussing it as part of premarital counseling with a pastor or marriage counselor provides a safe atmosphere to openly discuss questions about a partner's past.

Focusing on the Family
Some family members are going to reject you and some will embrace you. You cannot truly predict someone's response to your sharing. Again, how, how much and to whom you share is entirely up to you. I don't think you should call a family summit and make an announcement, but neither should you pass up opportunities that permit you to share that you have been delivered. I believe the Holy Spirit will quicken you to the right time, place and individual, especially if you are willing. Remember, don't quench the Spirit, give him the freedom to guide you into gloryfying the Father.

To find out more about marriage, sharing your testimony and overcoming homosexuality, please get my book Touching A Dead Man. 

Why does it seem to take so long to be delivered from homosexuality?

Deliverance from homosexuality is a process. That it is a process is underscored by the number of people who find that "instant deliverance" is not what it's cranked up to be. Homosexuality takes root in a person's life through a developmental process or more aptly the lack of development in certain areas of masculinity, same sex parental relationship, stunted emotional growth and other factors. Such deeply engrained factors are not addressed by instant deliverance, but by a sustained program of counseling and obedience to the overcoming principles of the scriptures --after delieverance. Instant deliverance does not mean that every struggle is obliterated, never to return, it simply means that God honors the cry for freedom and He initiates that with His divine response. It is the "alpha" of the journey which will culminate in the "omega."

The process encompasses the following:
1. Cleansing the soul
2. Liberating the body
3. Transforming the mind
4. Putting on immortality

Each of these parts of the TOTAL deliverance has a time span and the success of each is dependent upon the respondent. More about deliverance from homosexuality is discussed in Chapter 3 of my book "Touching A Dead Man."